Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Film Quote of the Day

Hedley Lamarr: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.
Taggart:  Ditto.
Hedley Lamarr: "Ditto?" "Ditto," you provincial putz?!

-Blazing Saddles, 1974

Friday, November 23, 2012

Top Ten Guilty Pleasures

Have you ever seen a movie that was deemed a bomb, yet you couldn't help but watch it over and over? Despite terrible dialogue, corny cliched moments and bad acting? We all have a few. These are my top ten guilty pleasures.

10. Sin - 2003
Starring: Gary Oldman, Ving Rhames, Barry Cox
The Premise: A cripple ex-cop seeks vengeance after his drug-addicted sister is brutally raped.
Why I watch it: If it wasn't for Oldman and Rhames I wouldn't bother to stomach this cliched editing mess that has no plot and horrible writing.

9. Pee Wee's Big Adventure - 1985
Starring: Paul Ruebens, Elizabeth Daily, Mark Holton
The Premise: After his beloved bicycle is stolen, man-child Pee-Wee goes on a big adventure to find it.
Why I watch it: Okay so it's a lame story and the main character is immature, but it makes you laugh. And it's Tim Burton, 'nuff said.
8. Ernest Saves Christmas - 1988
Starring: Jim Varney, Douglas Seale, Oliver Clark
The Premise: A goofy cab driver tries to help Santa Claus find a replacement before Christmas Eve.
Why I watch it: It's Ernest! He's zany, he's wacky, he's hilarious and he's going to help out Jolly Old Saint Nick! 

7. UHF - 1989
Starring: Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin McCarthy, Michael Richards
The Premise: Daydreamer George can't keep a job until his uncle lets him in charge of a dying UHF television station.
Why I watch it: Seeing Weird Al spoofing on Indiana Jones and Rambo is enough to sit through this outrageously silly comedy.

6. Supergirl - 1984
Starring: Helen Slater, Faye Dunaway, Peter O'Toole 
The Premise: Superman's cousin arrives on Earth seeking the power source to save her city, while an evil woman named Selena wants to rule the world.
Why I watch it: A good cast for one, and the effects aren't bad, plus Dunaway makes such a great villainess.


 5. Conan the Barbarian - 1982
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Earl Jones, Sandahl Bergman
The Premise: A warrior of great strength wants revenge after an evil warlord murders his family and village. 
Why I watch it: Arnold may not be the greatest of actors, but this adventure story is epic, with awesome music and cinematography.


 4. Conan the Destroyer - 1984
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Wilt Chamberlain, Sarah Douglas
The Premise: Conan the great warrior is asked to bring a young girl on a perilous journey to find a key that will fulfill her destiny.
Why I watch it: Yeah it's a lame sequel with some really stupid moments, particularly a one-horned monster at the finale, and it's extremely campy but in a fun way.


3. Howard the Duck - 1986
Starring: Lea Thompson, Tim Robbins, Jeffrey Jones
The Premise: A walking, talking duck is transported to Earth to save the planet from evil dark overlords while wooing a girl in a punk rock band.

Why I watch it: It's lighthearted with good special effects and a lot of duck puns, despite the strange relationship between Howard and human Beverly.

 2. Masters of the Universe - 1987
Starring: Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, Courteney Cox
The Premise: A warrior and his friends try to find a cosmic key so they can save their city from the evil Skeletor.

Why I watch it: Again another cheesy film, but a lot of fun. Skeletor is such a devilish villain who loves dramatic turns and overlong speeches.


1. The Pirate Movie - 1982
Starring: Kristy McNichol, Christopher Atkins, Ted Hamiltion
The Premise: An ex-pirate falls in love with the major general's daughter, but she can't marry until her older sisters do.

Why I watch it: Tacky songs, corny jokes and lots of sexual innuendo, this spoof of the Pirates of Penzance has such catchy music it's guaranteed to put you in a good mood.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Film Quote of the Day

Marty McFly: Hey, Doc, we better back up. We don't have enough road to get up to 88. 
Dr. Emmett Brown: Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads

-Back to the Future, 1985

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Character Spotlight: Lex Luthor

Deeming himself, "The greatest criminal mind of our time", Alexander Luthor (nicknamed Lex) resides in his secret lair two-hundred feet below ground level in the city of Metropolis, along with his girlfriend Eve Teschmacher and bumbling sidekick Otis. After finding about the invincible being called Superman, Lex and his two loyal followers devise an evil plan to destroy Superman and everything good that he stands for. Lex Luthor has been played by Kevin Spacey in the 2006 film Superman Returns, as well as Michael Rosenbaum in the television series Smallville, but for me there is none that's more memorable than Gene Hackman's performance in the 1978 film Superman the Movie. He is evil yes, but in a comedic way that despite being the villain you can't help but find him like-able.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Blob (1988)

In the small town of Arborville, California, a meteor crash lands in the woods. An old man discovers the meteor rock and inside is a gooey, jelly-like substance, which attaches itself to his hand and ends up killing him. Unsure what it is or where it came from, this bizarre life form is growing in size as it starts killing the townspeople, while teens Brian Flagg and Meg Penny try to stop it. Remake of the 1958 film starring Steve McQueen has some scary special effects, is well paced, and in my opinion is a lot more entertaining than the original. Starring Kevin Dillon, Shawnee Smith, Donovan Leitch, Jeffrey DeMunn, Candy Clark, Joe Seneca, Ricky Paull Goldin 7/10 Rated R